If I were a believer, the sin I would be most haunted by would be gluttony. You see, I like to overdo stuff. When I love something, I really love it…when something makes me sad, I am devastated. The list could go on. I admit it, I am an emotional glutton. Actually, as a hobby, I also like to eat. Sometimes a lot.
About a month ago I went on this low carb diet that really forced me to look at food differently. About what to have for breakfast, what to eat for lunch … and most importantly how to dose it. I think I was most offended when the nutritionist told me: try not to see food as a source of pleasure, see it as the fuel that keeps you going. What? I still don’t quite get it. I think I have always seen food as a gift from above. the fact that it somehow nourishes us is just a friendly bonus. Changing my perspective was challenging to say the least and to tell you the truth, it made me feel quite depressed. Luckily, humans are extremely adjustable creatures and I learned that this kind of sadness is everyday life for most of you. What happened when I really liked something that I tasted, you are surely asking yourself? Well, I went all the way. Man, if I had a penny for every time I felt ill after chewing a whole pack of strawberry chewing gums, eating a whole Pavlova cake… well, I would be well off.
Coincidentally (but to no surprise) I tend to do the same with emotions…and dare I say people. the few times that I fell in love, not being able to consume the object of my affection and carry him with me all the time was pure horror. A seeker of attention, I was insatiable. By wanting to get more, I gave more…and this is a deceptive viscous circle. You end up giving away too much of yourself and you get lost. You risk disappearing into someone else…and if they ever go away for whatever reason…well, what are you left with? Having yourself is the only certainty we have in life. Sad but true, my friends. The good news here is that with the right help, with the right person, with the right time…you learn to dose your emotions and can actually take a step back from the neurosis without taking away from the beauty of whatever you are feeling. Even though being highly emotional and sensitive is great (or extremely horrible), turning on your ratio puts a whole new life to it.
I remember my mom once told me that I always tend to do things that burn my wings. I said that I don’t care…because it at least means that I fly for even a little while. So, here is to flying! Even though I really hate to. But…that’s already a different story.
By the way. I missed you. Have you missed me?
the new zablogar 